Pauline Amélie

I was born on a rainy may day, the year 1986 in France, not far from the German border.

I started an introspective photographic work six years ago (as some write a diary), following an acute post-traumatic stress disorder that developed a cyclothymic disorder with which I live today and of which I did not more shame.

I could not get rid of the feeling of being removed from humanity, photography allowed me to create my own world. I am likely to be overwhelmed by lucidity and hypersensitivity, mired in a violent world and unsuited to my little person. But for me, being a photographer is able to transform into sweet almond milk the gray that envelops my heart and my mind sometimes. I can finally feel, the blood suddenly give warmth to my whole body which is sometimes frozen and paralyzed by terror.

The fear, the anxiety, the doubts, the pain of the soul and the stigmata are all feelings and sensations unbearable but which nevertheless allow my creativity to express itself better than usual, because in period I create fewer images or lighter images of my friends, my family and sometimes in color, which are generally for the private sphere. The creative process and its realization save me from everything. In photography, I can not lie, with my images I offer myself to everyone.

According to the emotions that pass through me I mostly take self-portraits, portraits of women, some landscapes including Rome where I lived a few months, and the forest where I grew up. I use black and white, with a pronounced 3200 ISO grain, for the timeless and somber side as can be the soul, and I develop my films in my tiny bathroom, the dark room is a small paradise where the Time stops, where the magic operates.

Cinema and poetry accompany me, especially the poetry of John Keats, Pasolini, Emily Dickinson, Yeats, to name a few…and the book that is my Bible and inspires the most my work , ‘Women who run with the wolves. Myths and stories of the wild woman archetype, by Dr. Pinkola Estès. Like art in general, and for a great majority of artists, this art that photography has become vital and indispensable, I get bored when I have no more film to develop or that I can not no longer produce, create, give, I need to feed my mind constantly.

Currently I am beginning a photographic experiment. It is about a series of portraits feminine or masculine in double exposure on lichen, molds, flowers in color. But the series that I want to present here is the very last one entitled “Women with nerves of steel or the wild women” which deals with both femininity and disease, how to handle both daily, highlight, expose to the eyes of others force, combativeness, as well as my inner evils. This is an important thing so that ‘Nerve Disease’ as it used to be called is no longer a shame but a force. A large majority of artists produce works because of and/or thanks to one or more disorders, to the evils of the soul.